little lily...

i'm sure all of you that read this know how attached to tiffany's triplets i am.  it was their 3rd birthday yesterday and the first that i missed.  i don't know if all of you read her blog, but just in case you don't, i just wanted to write on mine a little something to direct you to hers to check it out.  tiff is an absolutely amazing mom and i'm so grateful to her because she's given me just a little :) experience with multiples that will come in extremely handy come february.  from the time the three little ones were born, i've loved them all so much, and i'm not playing favorites, but one of them and i always shared a little more than the other two.  i will explain: kate was a mama's girl for a good part of the beginning of her life, so this meant that any time i was helping out, tiff had kate.  luke, a lot of the time, never really cared about who was holding him and was okay to just play.  i guess i'm thinking of the times i helped at play-to-learn, their pre-preschool every week.  but lily would always come to me; she would rarely need tiff to hold her instead.  and this may apply to everyone she knows, but i'm just going to pretend like i'm special. :)  everyone always thought i favored her because our names are the same, but i think it was a little more than that :).  so tiff is writing a little something about each of them on her blog in honor of their third birthday and she posted a couple of pictures of lily.  one of them is just too much, i can't stop looking at it.  so i thought i'd share it with those of you who hadn't seen it yet. :)

okay, okay!!

so originally, i was planning on doing a belly picture every 4 weeks and having it correspond with my ultrasounds.  well, apparently, that wasn't good enough.  i've had several requests for weekly pictures and  i am happy to comply.  it's funny, i had bryan take this picture about 7 different times before i realized that i can't do anything differently to keep my bum from sticking out.  glenae would appreciate this post :).  i kept telling him, no we have to do it again and i'll pull my hips in a little more forward this time.  that just looked like i was really trying to stick my belly out.  so finally, no exaggeration on my belly or bum sticking out: this is my babies and me at 15 weeks and 1 day!!

and looking at it again, it really does stick out!! man, i really should have learned to booty-shake when i was younger! stay tuned for next week, when i'll have belly pics AND baby pics!! i'm really trying to convince myself that i DON'T want to find out what these little ones are.  i don't even want to type that, because i know so many of you will tell me, yes, find out! but i really don't want to, i'm just afraid i'm going to try to figure it out. hopefully, they'll both have their legs crossed and it will be impossible, even for the trained eye.  no, tiff and mel, i am not finding out! that is that.

the dancing queen

so just a quick post today: as many of you know, i love music and require it for most of my daily activities.  washing dishes, working on the computer, getting ready in the morning, etc.  so this morning was no different, bryan went to work and i had some errands to run.  we just got one of those sets of speakers that you can plug your iPod into, specifically for upstairs (we have an upstairs now!!!) because my computer is downstairs and the music can't travel that far, especially when i'm in the shower.  i know, i'm rambling.  so i turn on my iPod, take a shower, proceed to get ready, and completely make a fool of myself while doing it... i was alone, who cares?  dancing queen by ABBA came on (one of my favorites) and i was dancing in the bathroom, grateful to have the energy and the absence of nausea to do so.  and i had a thought:  in about 5 or 6 (hopefully just about 5 :)) months, we get two babies who, maybe not right at first, but after they're old enough to hold their heads up, we get to dance with!!!!!!!!!! or i get to dance with and bryan gets to move around like a white boy with... :) i can't wait to dance with my babies!  and i promise, more belly pics in the next couple of days :).

did i really make it?

okay, i don't want to speak too soon, because just my luck, my ickiness will come back and bite me in the arse, but i think i might be on the road to feeling better.  if there was a way to convey that i was whispering that as if noone could hear me, i would type it like that.  but yesterday, my little ones and i became 14 weeks!!!!!!!!!  yea for second trimester!!!  and the day before, i had gone to see an acupuncturist (for my nausea/vomiting and general aches and pains).  i saw him a couple times last summer when we were still "trying" and he's very typical, i guess, for their culture.  he doesn't really beat around the bush, just tells it like it is.  which i definitely appreciate, usually being the same way myself, but not always do i agree.  those of you who read my infertility blog remember how he said, more or less, that i was overweight, depressed and sexually frustrated.  :) but this time, i told him when i booked the appt. that i was pregnant, so he knew when i walked in.  and proceeded to say, you looka vedy tiuhd.   very tired. :)  thanks, how much do i owe you?  anyway, so he did some points to give me energy and also some herbs to take to help with the nausea and vomiting.  i've taken those for the past two days, and i don't know if it's the pills, the acupuncture, the fact that i'm 14 weeks and finally i'm getting a break, but i don't really care: i feel better.  and i'm not going to go on about it b/c i don't want to jinx anything. :)  so please cross your fingers that it lasts and that my future posts are filled with optimism and pictures of expanding bellies and little babies!!!!!!

when will i feel better?

i'm really trying not to feel sorry for myself today, but it's been kinda rough.  i keep telling myself to be grateful and not to complain (my family and husband would laugh at that), but for these next few short minutes, i'm ditching that.   i am so sick and tired of eating.  it was pretty much one of my favorite things to do before these babes, and i can't even stand the thought of it now.  i can't tell you how many times i eat and 15 minutes later, i have to eat something again.  laura told me when i was still in fresno that she felt like her baby was not really a baby, just a leech.  to be honest, i thought that was a little mean, but i've come around to the idea and agreed.  i think i made the mistake at 6 weeks to think that how i was feeling then was going to be how i was going to feel for the rest of my first trimester, but oh no, not the case at all.  and it differs every single day. every single minute!  i can wake up two different days, eat the exact same thing, and on one day, be totally fine and the next, throw up everything until about 3 in the afternoon... what is that?!  i don't know, but i'm 13 weeks tomorrow and i'm ready for this part to be over.  my poor husband is having a hard time- i don't know if it's because from week 6-9 he was still in fresno and didn't get to ease into the yuckiness with me, or if it's because he's a guy and can't empathize (obviously, he can't do that, but you know what i mean).  but he's definitely getting super tired of me not caring about the state of our house, which still has lots of work to be done.  and i don't care about any of it.  you should see our bedroom.  all of his clothes are still in boxes, mine are all put away, but only because my mother did it, our mattress is on the floor because our bed isn't here yet, etcera, etcera, etcera...  and now i have to go to work, which i've been doing full time for the past 4 weeks and for all of you who know, i'm not really used to- it's kicking my you-know-what!  but hopefully, after this week, i go down to per diem (and we're so well-staffed, they don't need me more than 3 a month!- imagine that:)) and my schedule will hopefully slow down a bit so i can have more energy to help out around here.  oh, and i forgot to mention that i cried today because my big dog ate my little dog's food when i wasn't looking- how awesome is that? :) i apologize for all the negativity, but this is what these are for, right?  i needed to vent.  now i go back to being the sweet, eternally grateful, pregnant w/twins girl who is beyond excited to get to her second trimester!!

one of each?

i had my 12 week ultrasound on tuesday- officially, at the doctor's office and all. :) i'm sorry that this post will only have one picture, but for some reason, she gave us all of them on a FLOPPY disc.  i don't even know what that is anymore! so bryan has to fix our old computer or i have to go to my parents' house, who always have the archaeic technology taken care of. :) a little bit of an inconvenience, because we're supposed to bring it back to every ultrasound (oh, yeah, i forgot to mention that my dr. wants one every month!) and she'll just add on to what's on there already.  at least we get them- she took so many! :)  baby A first: would not stop moving long enough for her to do measurements!  all over the place, mostly completely upside down! so we're calling this one a girl. :) i had to really concentrate not to laugh so we could get a clear picture- it was so amazing.  all of her lengths, circumferences, etc. came out perfectly: 12 weeks and 2 days, which was 2 days over what i was, but who's counting? as long as they're not too little, 2 days is nothing.  on to baby B: this one scared me a little at first.  wasn't moving to the point of me thinking there was something wrong, until she focused on him and we saw his heart beating just as strongly (strong?) as his sister's.  i know, i know, i'm only 12 weeks and we have no way of knowing which is which and what they are, it's just hard not to call them him or her- we're not going to call them it's!!  so baby B takes after daddy, whatever he or she may be... check this out:

baby B hangin' out

for those of you who may not be able to tell which end's up (don't worry, sometimes i have a hard time, just like rachel on friends)  baby's face is on the right side of the pic, along with his body since his head is like half his body, his hands are up by his head, and his feet are in the air, almost looking like they're crossed!!! could this baby be any more relaxed?!?! nestled in there, just as if he was lying on a hammock! definitely his father's baby :).  all of his measurements also equalled 12 weeks and 2 days, whoo-hoo!!  i have one anterior placenta and one posterior placenta (this is a good thing), i had only gained one pound since my last visit!, my formerly ginormous cysts that were 18cm collectively are now 4 1/2 cm together, hence the slight weight gain- that's a lot of water i'm not carrying around anymore. and everything else checked out!  so as soon as i can get the pictures off of the floppy disc, i will post them- can't wait for you all to see them! :)

i think i mighta popped...

so today, i'm 11 weeks and 4 days.  i've been in colorado with my family (feeling so much better because it was cool and dry- exactly the opposite of kansas), not really paying attention to what i'm wearing.  we got back on thursday and, of course, i haven't done the laundry yet (again, people, still don't have much energy!) and i made plans to have lunch with one of my good friends from high school.  so i'm rushing around trying to figure out what to wear, still look halfway decent and NOT end up looking like a beached whale (which is what the stage i'm in right now has been labeled by me), and decided on this shirt and my gaucho pants that will stretch to no end. :) exactly the idea.  and this is what i discovered:

i think this was the day my body decided it was no longer going to be bloated by the ovarian cysts i had (which have shrunk to half their size :)) and make my uterus the reason for it all.  it's just weird and funny to adjust to being just almost 12 weeks and already showing! i know, i know, i have two babies, but it's still weird.  i don't feel like i should be having to adjust my wardrobe yet.  but i guess i should get used to all the new changes that are about to come... all i can say is, thank God for elastic waistbands and my friends who have lent me their maternity clothes- THANK YOU!! :)