too sweet

maybe this is how i get them to eat.

why no

otherwise known as white snow, which is what we've been seeing too much a lot of lately.  the cabin fever has gotten to us (couldn't you tell from my previous posts?), so in times of desperation...

still here..

for those who thought i might have jumped off the nearest cliff (or bridge, since i'm in kansas and there are no cliffs to be found, only hills), i have not.  and i'm slowly but surely coming out of my slump, thanks in large part to bryan's schedule.  also, those beatle guys knew a thing or two when they wrote the words, 'let it be.'  i might get a tattoo of that if i ever decided i needed another.  maybe a japanese symbol representing that phrase-- KIDDING.  but not about the words, they are powerful.

we're getting back into our normal routine, the one where the boys are at "school" twice a week and i get a bit of a break.  we've had a few snow days, and if we have more so-help-me, i may just check out.  no i won't.

it also helps a ton when i get phone calls and e-mails from my people, wanting to know if they can help or offer an ear to listen... just someone acknowledging it is huge. thank you peeps.

in other news: running is on my list for new years resolutions.  i started "training" for a 5k.  it's in quotes because i don't plan on running a 5k, i just needed rules to follow.  i'm up to 2.25 miles and i haven't died yet.  i think it's going well.

lately

it's been a rough couple of weeks.  i kind of don't know how to make this post into a good story or have a neat and organized beginning, middle, and end, so you may lose interest.  it's ok, i understand.  as the boys have become two year-olds in every sense of the word (phrase?), and bryan has had to work several shifts in a row a couple of times, i've become more and more worn down.  i've figured out that it's the days where i have them alone from sun up to sun down that really get to me.  and when i haven't fully recovered from the previous day, each day gets a little bit worse in the sense of me starting out with a positive attitude as to how it will go.  we've always said it's going to be so good, because growing up as twins, they never are the only ones who never have to wait, the only baby getting the attention or having to adjust to a new sibling because they've always had each other there.  patience will come naturally.  apparently, they haven't figured it out yet.  mealtimes are the hardest.  when i'm going it alone, if i put them in their highchairs without the food in front of them, the whining/yelling/crying hits decibels that should be illegal.  if i let them play around while i'm making whatever meal it may be (which is part of the problem that we don't have a proper play area for them while i'm cooking), they end up falling off the piano bench or getting into the dogs food, etc.

another issue that's added fuel to the fire is the fact that they've gotten pickier in the last couple of weeks.  we went to their 2 year appointment and they've gained .6 pounds in the last six months and are in the 9th percentile for weight. (95th for head!!)  so although i can see with my own eyes and know with my gut that they are fine, i shouldn't be worried because they're acting like normal two year-olds, it's still in the back of my head when they've stopped eating their normal go-to foods, i.e. macaroni and cheese, peanut butter, string cheese.  can i just say thank god for cheerios?!  tonight for dinner, we had: bagels with cream cheese, raisins, yogurt, bananas (or lello nuh-na-nuh, as liam calls them), a few bites of apple, and pretzels.  partly because we were running errands and i didn't have time to make anything, and partly because i didn't want to make anything they weren't going to eat anyway!  i'm usually pretty good with letting things go, but this one's been a hard one.  i've been told they aren't going to starve, so i guess we're just gonna have to tough it out.

i did read something the other day, and although i'm ashamed to admit it was on the people.com celebrity baby blog, it made a lightbulb go off in my tired head.  the celebrity (who i can honestly say i don't know- pretty surprising!), was talking about her two year-old daughter and how she's noticed lately little things that have made her feel like a bad parent.  for instance, they were at a birthday party and the girl threw a tantrum and ran to the nanny instead of her.  and she said she couldn't take it personally, that her daughter wasn't doing it on purpose, but it was just her doing what she knew.  big a-ha moment for me.  this isn't about me.  they aren't waging a personal attack against me, they're just being toddlers.  liam isn't climbing to the top of the bookshelf because he knows it's going to make me mad, he's just curious!  he is interested in everything, he needs to explore every nook and cranny, and he isn't doing it on purpose.  of course, after he gets a reaction, then he's doing it on purpose.  i just need to remember that, i need to dig to the bottom of my soul where i didn't think i had an ounce of patience left, find it, and let them be two.  i need to channel one of my best friends, sarah d.  who would most definitely recommend ending the day with a vodka cran and dr. mcdreamy.  and maybe, every once in awhile when it's too much, just cry.  always helps.

suggestions? tips?

snowmen

i think bryan's going to have to wait another year until they're as excited as he is to go play in the snow... or maybe this was their first time and they just need a little more exposure.  probably, considering they are his children.

 sporting their first faux fur of the season...

 daddy's teaching us that we can eat the snow

ellie wants to play so badly!

she can't because she tends to get over-excited and "maul" the boys - dislike.

doesn't this look like it could be an album cover?

yeah, i did that on purpose.

too much fun.

(except we didn't really like walking that much in our new boots,

even though we say boots very well)

just to show the depth of the snow...

it could stop anytime and i'd be fine with that.

one little monkey jumping on the bed

ok.  i know i'm biased (because i'm married to the photographer and this little one is mine), but is this not an amazing picture?!?!?  i can't talk intelligently about the movement or the light, both of which look dang good to me, but i love it.

on that note, we had our two-year pictures taken today at kauffman gardens.  because my husband is a crazy person who doesn't care what anyone thinks and will do just about anything to get our kids to smile, i think we got some great shots.  i'll share when i get my hands on them!

happy new year to me.

there is no time like the new year to make me feel like i'm going to lose my mind if i see one more piece of clutter/junk/toy we haven't played with in a year/etc in my way.  you start out a pretty organized person,  you have kids, you have no time, blah, blah, blah, your priorities shift (with good reason), and you find yourself up to your ears thinking you should just move instead of deal with it all.  well, since we aren't going to do that (yet), as soon as the boys were back in school (the hallelujah chorus blaring on the pretend blog speakers), we started purging.  not that kind, although i wouldn't mind a quick weight loss plan - kidding!  we started at the top: our closet.  disclaimer: what you are about to see isn't pretty.  i'm not proud of it, and yes, it made me a bit nauseated too.  

holy hell!  we put some tunes on, and were done in a little over an hour.
whoa.  and this is the result:

SEVEN bags full of our clothes to take to good will.  how does it get to be that bad, you ask?  well, i'm one of those people who finds a good shirt and buys one in every color.  i know, i know.  resolving not to be that person anymore.  wasteful.  and although there is still some organizing to do, i thought i'd give you a little relief from the before to the after:

we moved onto the boys' closet, which actually wasn't bad.  i had just thrown all their smaller clothes into a laundry basket in the corner to be put away at a later date.  that being yesterday.  we filled a couple of big bins and moved those into storage.  i won't bore you with the rest (kitchen today, toys/playroom tomorrow), but while we're on the subject of organization, this was my christmas present from bryan:

i've since cut the lower dowel in two and spread out the ribbon,

if you're concerned about the bowing.

which, i'm sure you are.

i'd seen this in martha (of course), and elise just did something similar in her workspace.  my main goal was to have my desk completely clear of clutter.  i saved a few essentials - laptop, picture of my babes when they were brand new, my favorite sharpies, and this anthro candle that will never get old.  in my last post, i wrote that my bf's version of heaven was chocolate and classic movies:  mine would include that candle.  can't get enough.  moving on, i cleared everything else off, including my desk calendar that i love, but was too much to have in front of me all the time.  and the board needs more organizing and adding to, but it's totally working for now.

seven trash bags full of clothes and shoes, two or three boxes of various household appliances/knick-knacks, basically everything but the kitchen sink.  it's a good feeling. resolving to simplify our lives; first step, de-clutter. check.