i'm back!

wow, it's really hard to live up to all this pressure... just kidding, there's no pressure. maybe only from myself... you know how it goes, life gets busy, a few days go by and no new blog posts, a few more days go by, and you keep telling yourself 'the last thing you posted was about halloween, you better get on the stick!', and pretty soon, it's almost a month later and you've become one of those bloggers. the ones who really want to post about a lot of things, but just can't make time for it. the ones who drool over many many blogs every day, but can't ever seem to think anything she has to say will be worth reading... well, that's the end of that. i am going to make an effort to not write this for anyone but me. it doesn't just have to be about the babies (who, in my defense, do take up a LOT of time) :), it's going to be about me, my family, my non-existent business, our life. i hope you'll forgive me for my hiatus, all of you 3 people who check on a regular basis. :) as of right now, i am back. wish me luck, as i think i'm about to enter one of the busiest times of my life: the holiday season. with almost one-year old twins. oy.

nigiri anyone?

i've never been a big halloween person. i do not like scary movies, don't like being scared, and i really think that too many people use it as an excuse to be skanky. well, i think i'm comin' around... obviously, we participated this year- and had a blast! of course, there's not much to do with 10-month olds who can't seem to understand why this darn pillow is velcro'ed to their backs! but we took a trip up to the hospital to see bryan's co-workers and then down to our little outdoor shopping center for some "trick-or-treating". made me so excited for the years to come, when they know what's going on...

my sister found this idea in parents magazine and as someone who wanted to go all out with hand-making costumes, also someone who doesn't really know how to sew, this was a perfect alternative. so easy, and so so yummy. wish i had gotten more pictures, particularly of liam, but he's a pretty active fishy.

salmon with a side of wasabi

yummy nigiri :)

fatty tuna with ginger

(who you callin' fatty?)

10 months

our little guys are ten months old... in two! months, they will be one year old. maybe if i say it every day until then, i will actually comprehend the idea that they have already been here for one year! how long we waited for them, and how quickly time has flown since then... in the last month, we have made much advancement in the area of food. we've graduated from the beaba and started eating big-kid food! scrambled eggs, potato soup, yogurt (that one isn't really that big of a deal), and even tofu! i've been told "not to pass on my dislike of certain foods to my children", so i'm trying with that one... finn's still having a hard time with textures, but he's getting better. liam pretty much opens his mouth for everything, and just waits until it's in to figure out if he doesn't like it or not... it usually stays in, thank goodness. we've also introduced sippy cups, which we're still getting the hang of. liam is cruising everything, and is not ever interested in sitting, is always exploring or climbing. finn started army-crawling a couple of weeks ago, and loves that he can finally move like his brother- and his drool hasn't slowed down, so it's nice that he spreads that all around... :) they love laughing at each other, and i think their secret language has already begun. adorable.

liam

finn

oh fresno, how i do not love thee...

but how i love the people living there...

all of you have heard me growl about fresno- of all the places in california to live, this would not be one i would choose. often referred to as the "armpit" of the golden state, i really didn't ever warm up to the city. however, i had no problem finding friends that i will probably have for my whole life. there were many reasons we were supposed to go to fresno- it was one of those life lessons you learn after the fact, after you've groused and moaned and complained like a 4 year-old about it... it's where bryan needed to be to get probably some of the best training an emergency room doc can get in the country, and it's where i needed to be to get the support i needed through my roller coaster ride with infertility. i had 3 very good friends in fresno who helped in more ways than i will ever be able to remember. one of those friends has moved on to cleaner air and more space, but two are still in fresno. and last week, one of them had a baby! little samantha claire james was born on friday, october 16th, and i surprised melanie by showing up!!! the stars aligned with bryan's schedule, and with a little help from his family and mine, he was able to take care of the boys for an extended weekend, so i could have a little trip out to visit. i was so happy to see her, meet little sam, and catch up with my girls. tiff and dan were gracious enough to let me sleep on their couch (thanks again!!), and i got some much-needed triplet time in.. and soph, of course! although i didn't take nearly enough pictures, here are a few... i miss all of you already!!!

little samantha claire

princess sophie, with her new earrings

(did i mention she turned 2! and tiff had a party?) so fun :)

my little lily

why did i not get more pictures of this little bundle?

my favorite triplets, ready for a big soccer game

lily ~ kate ~ luke

i still have cold feet.

back in march of 2008, i entered the blog world. i blogged about infertility. i had a journal through high school, college, and nursing school, but it kind of stopped when i got married. i don't know why, maybe it was a time thing, maybe i didn't have anything to say. when trying to have a baby became so overwhelming that all of my emotions were running wild and wonky, i decided to give blogging a try. i didn't make it available for anyone else to read except for my husband and best friend, just because i wasn't ready to be so out there. i found that typing was so much faster than writing, and that i could get all that i wanted to say out before i got tired of waiting for my hand to catch up with my brain. it was extremely therapeutic, and i still think it was a huge instrument in being able to let it be, which then enabled me to leave it up to someone else. shoulda done that in the first place! so...

what does this all have to do with cold feet?

well, i have polycystic ovarian syndrome. the reason for the delay of the babies. if you want to hear all about it, you can read my other blog. i have cold feet. which, according to my acupuncturist, means i have low kidney energy (chi, prounounced chee) which is all tied in with my ovaries and uterus. well, once i got pregnant, i said that i was all done with all the problems of infertility, that i wasn't going to go through all of that again. i was basing this on knowing that my dad's mom had had trouble getting pregnant with him, but then none with her following two sons. she probably had PCOS. it just wasn't the hip and trendy diagnosis it is today, it actually wasn't even around... so i was going to be one of those people that tried forever to get pregnant, but then once i got pregnant, my body would get knocked into normalcy and someday, waaayyy down the line, i would be surprised to find myself pregnant. i'm hoping that my body is just taking its own sweet time because, i realized the other day, i still have cold feet.

here's to hoping my ovaries work anyway...

a conversation interrupted...

the first of many, i'm sure : )