i still have cold feet.

back in march of 2008, i entered the blog world. i blogged about infertility. i had a journal through high school, college, and nursing school, but it kind of stopped when i got married. i don't know why, maybe it was a time thing, maybe i didn't have anything to say. when trying to have a baby became so overwhelming that all of my emotions were running wild and wonky, i decided to give blogging a try. i didn't make it available for anyone else to read except for my husband and best friend, just because i wasn't ready to be so out there. i found that typing was so much faster than writing, and that i could get all that i wanted to say out before i got tired of waiting for my hand to catch up with my brain. it was extremely therapeutic, and i still think it was a huge instrument in being able to let it be, which then enabled me to leave it up to someone else. shoulda done that in the first place! so...

what does this all have to do with cold feet?

well, i have polycystic ovarian syndrome. the reason for the delay of the babies. if you want to hear all about it, you can read my other blog. i have cold feet. which, according to my acupuncturist, means i have low kidney energy (chi, prounounced chee) which is all tied in with my ovaries and uterus. well, once i got pregnant, i said that i was all done with all the problems of infertility, that i wasn't going to go through all of that again. i was basing this on knowing that my dad's mom had had trouble getting pregnant with him, but then none with her following two sons. she probably had PCOS. it just wasn't the hip and trendy diagnosis it is today, it actually wasn't even around... so i was going to be one of those people that tried forever to get pregnant, but then once i got pregnant, my body would get knocked into normalcy and someday, waaayyy down the line, i would be surprised to find myself pregnant. i'm hoping that my body is just taking its own sweet time because, i realized the other day, i still have cold feet.

here's to hoping my ovaries work anyway...

a conversation interrupted...

the first of many, i'm sure : )

happy 9 months to my little animals

is it me or did i just post their happy 8 months? i guess you hear all the time that they grow so fast, but i am experiencing it first hand. and i also think that because their first few months at home druuuggg on and i thought they would never become anything but newborns who never let us get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time, now the time flies by even faster. they're sitting up (finn) and crawling all over the place (liam), eating things even i don't (salmon), and becoming little people. just to clarify, the salmon is part of a recipe that also contains cheddar cheese, orange juice, and a sweet potato. oh, and butter and milk. so it really isn't that bad... they're not really so much into the finger food, they'd rather me just put the cheerios in their mouths. they love to bang on the table and bounce in their bouncer. and just recently, liam has started showing interest in climbing the stairs... watch out world. they make each other laugh, climb all over the other, and think it's funny when their eyes are gouged out by brother. they love going on runs with their daddy, which i really appreciate because it gives me time to blog, have an uninterrupted phone convo about grey's anatomy, actually blow-dry my hair, or just be. these babies really are such a joy.

finn

liam

totally sacked out after a long run

such a big boy

i don't even know how this happens...

peace out!

typical liam- curious about everything

our first fat lip (and i'm sure, not our last)

my baby boys

happy fish face friday!

and yes, we do realize this bib makes him look a tad

like a circus dog...

baby noah

these were the birth announcements i made for one of my best friends and her new little one, noah. kari wasn't too specific about what she wanted, she just knew she wanted it to say somewhere "the best things come in small packages". so with the help of my friends at paper source, i used the square petal envelopes in bluebell, mounted his darling little serious face on white cardstock, and used a white sticker with the quote to seal it all together. hand-addressed and stamped them - signed, sealed, delivered! bear with me on the amateur photos, i'm still learning... : )

happy birthday bf

i was told the other night that i should put other things on my blog besides my adorable children. not that this certain person doesn't want to see my adorable children, but it is always good to spice things up. so this one's for you, bf.

it's my best friend's birthday today. and i don't know where to start. it's a fine line between saying what is deserved and total cheese. because i know her, and i know the total cheese would not be appreciated, i'm going to try my best. she turns 28 today, the day before i do. i bet she's freaking out, now that we're only 2 years away from 30... i am too, a little. but i think the two of us will always be driving to juco together, giving each other what passers-by probably thought were gang signs, but were just numbers for the radio stations we wanted the other one to turn to... that's normal, right? so in honor of her birthday, and in an attempt to bring more than just babies to my blog, here are:

28 reasons i love my bf.

1. went proudly to the 'n sync concert with me in college- and made shirts!

2. talks faster than anyone i know, and i think i'm the only one who keeps up

3. her spanish accent is impeccable (sally hansen?)

4. is even more of a hopeless romantic than i

5. her knowledge of the movies is endless

6. waited almost 28 years, but i think she finally found it

7. drove a car that leaked oil all the way from kansas to california

8. can tell me what i'm eating over the phone

9. comes from a family who loves her, but doesn't fully understand or appreciate her

10. made the first years of college two of the best of my life

11. is still wondering, along with me, where the hell peter cetera was?!?

12. bought a toyota, even though they wanted her to buy a ford.

13. is the only one that knows what was playing one of several times i got a speeding ticket

14. loves sex and the city, but not the movie.

15. knows why a person needs 2! bathroom doors

16. is the only person i know who honestly can't catch a break

17. although i think things are lookin' up

18. loves passionately

19. harmonizes almost as much as i do

20. although she's in hollywood because it's where she needs to be, she'll never be a typical 'l.a. girl'... and may i say thank GOD for that.

21. wasn't with me on our 21st birthdays, something neither one of us wants to think about

22. is a vegetarian, but on a very rare day, might crave a burger

23. designed my engagement ring

24. is someone with whom i've laughed the hardest in my life. ever.

25. will interrupt a shower for her broken-hearted bf

26. made a life-altering decision to move to los angeles because she knew she had to, and sometimes forgets how freaking amazing that is.

27. was born only a couple of hours before me

28. is the female version of my soulmate, or more simply put: my person. *

i heart you buddy...

*except, of course, my husband. :)